Limpiando el corazon! Cleaning my heart!

I Always write about my son and just a few times about me! well today is the day, maybe because it is raining or maybe because I just saw a part of a movie call "Reality bites" http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=N41gOPiMNVs  and made me  remembered how I used to be and made me think what the hell happened?
   I was one of this girls in love with guys like Ethan hawke, guys that need a lot of fixing time, guys emotionally damage, stormy relationships, 100 miles per hour, breathless love,love love love. I finished each one of my  long relationships( except for my marriage) because I always felt that  was something waiting for me, calling me!!!! I know It sound INSANE but it is was like this .

  After all those long and deep relationships I came to US and I got married with Tarek dad after only 4 months!!!! yes you read well..no wonder  why ah lol! and after Tarek born the honeymoon was over the real person came out and tears roll from my eyes like waterfalls. I had been divorce since 2007 and no love for cecy had been allowed after feeling  the crash with a semi on the love department.

  But after seen parts of that movie made me think what about  the way I used to feel? what about the old cecy? crazy ,impulsive, romantic. Made me feel lonely. They say life after divorce is a good time to KNOW YOURSELF. But
Can I move beyond the pain ?
Can I trust again?
Can I choose better?
Can I learn to run from the emotional unable guys?
Can I stop taking the  daily hermaphrodite pill?

  I think I can, so I'm opening the door of my heart to  give away the bed, the old marriage movie, the ring,the tears, the pain, the fears, the divorce tattoo in my forehead and with all this freedom I will smile to the new Fall season !