ups and downs

My day goes sometimes like this cartoon, feeling happy feeling sad, feeling hope, feeling lonely. Normally I have very good days and Tarek too, but the last 3 days had been very tough for both of us. My allergies, my eyes,my energy, my patiente very low, laringytis,not able to sleep at night and Tarek well tarek had some of the tough times. When these times came I cry a lot because honestly I don't know what else to do. He had been screaming at me, intead to say NO he yelled NOOOO and is all day long, Tantrums all day long, raising the volume up of the TV,sour mood. In days like this I feel so lonely, sometimes even scare to think what will happend in the future with Tarek and I, I don't understand why he behave this way,doesn't matter what I do o try to do he has this negative behaviors that I can't fix.

I know I sound like Debi Downer right now but I also know that very soon the sunshine will came back to my life and tarek will feel better soon too.

I learned over the years that is Ok feel sad and hopeless once in a while, because I HAVE A LOT IN MY PLATE, it is not easy been a single mom, have a 9 years old child with disabilities, not have my family close,not having a ex husband involved in my son life and work 40 hours a week. I just have to learn to accept that sometimes the grey clouds are also part of this beautiful blue sky.

I'm not sure were I can find more strengh to go to work tomorrow but I'm sure I will be smiling and tarek too very SOON.